We share almost everything with others. We share what is going on in our life at that time, whether it’s about our children, our mate, work, and other day-to-day happenings. There are a select few who we actually share more private, personal things with such as relationship problems, feelings, dreams and insecurities. But, there are some things we choose not to share with anyone because they are just too personal…private.
For example, I lost my beloved son shortly before his 22nd birthday. A dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer way to young. We share our loss with each other. There’s a private place I’ve created and it’s a deeply personal space that only I can enter. Some things we just need to keep for just “ourself.” A place where only we can go to grieve or to bring back memories…pleasant, loving memories. Maybe I didn’t create that private place. Maybe God did. It’s a place we don’t ever share with anyone…ever. Only God knows about it and knows when we are visiting that place.
We have so little privacy any more. When we do find a place that we don’t wish for others to be witness to, we honor it and appreciate it. We feel such gratitude. Even though that private, secret place holds many sad and very painful memories, it also holds many beautiful memories. Memories of laughter, fun, sharing, giving. Mom kisses and hugs. Handfuls of weeds that look like flowers that are given to me out of love by a little 5-year-old boy. Handmade Christmas decorations and handmade birthday or Mothers day gifts. Bought gifts. First day of kindergarten and graduation. Cub Scouts and Little League. The painful memories are obvious and no need to get into them.
We should always honor the tears we carry with us and within us. Cherish and hold tight all those things we keep in our secret and private place. Maybe that place is shared with our spirit/soul. Maybe the spirit has made a place for us to keep all that is meant for only us to share and to keep just for “self.” Nothing is sacred any more and maybe that, too, is why we want our secret place.
Pregnancy is no longer sacred since abortion was legalized. Marriage is no longer sacred since divorce is so accepted now. Relationships of all kinds are no longer sacred as friends come and go, significant others come and go and familial relationships come and go like the wind. Everything is disposable now. Babies, marriages, friends, relationships of all kinds even men. Yes men? Women no longer need men to get pregnant. We have sperm banks. Women work and no longer “need” a man to support her. It just goes on and no. Nothing much is sacred any more.
Our secret and private place is sacred and gives us comfort. We feel safe and loved in that space. Most things I will share with others, but my private place really is just for me. It’s all mine and I so treasure the moments I can spend there. Time I can spend there, fully and completely vulnerable. A secret place where I can cry as long as I need to and embrace every memory and feeling that shows up for me. My secret place does not judge me nor criticize me. It doesn’t tell me it’s time to stop grieving. A place where I can just be “me” without the judgments. I can laugh and I can even dance inside that secret, private place. I can cry and sob and just be sad and not judge my own self for feeling the pain.
Do you have a secret, private place where you can go? It can be a place of all happy things or things you just don’t wish to share with anyone else. It’s a secret place just for you. After all, there are some things we choose to keep for ourselves. Honor it. Cherish it. Respect it. And keep it for yourself. Hug that child within yourself, too. We all need that. Let your secret place tell you that everything is ok and that you are ok. You are who you are and that’s good enough.
Enjoy your own secret and private place.